Adjusting to School
by Hopedruid
Summary: Going to Hope's Peak is a lot tougher then Hajime expected.
1. Chapter 1

"That Souda guy sure is a loser. I mean does he really think hair dye and contacts is going to cover up how fucking pathetic he is?"

"Ha ha yeah! Don't forget about that dumb fucking Gaijin he is always following around. The other day she actually used the word "hella" can you belive that? On top of that she is some sort of weird horror Otaku."

"Why does the 77th class have so many freaks? Seriously that faggot Hanamura tried to talk to me the other day."

"What the fuck? Did that pervert try to come onto you?"

"Yeah. He is almost as disgusting as that Gundham freak. He is so fucking deluded."

"Hey don't look now but their comes Hajime."

"Who?"

"The reserve course student that hangs out with the 77th class all the time. "

"Fuck the reserve course. We should beat the shit out of him. All he did to get in was take a little test and have his mommy and daddy pay for it."

"Naw. Best not. The Headmaster seems to have taken a liking to this one."

Hajime couldn't believe it. It had been only a couple weeks into his first year at his dream school, and already it had turned into a nightmare. He was as looked down upon here as he was at his old school, except this time he was being bullied by people he respected...even admired. Lost in thought Hajime bumped into something soft.

"Uff...sorry excuse me I...uh..." Hajime stopped suddenly and smiled, a faint blush spreading to his cheeks when he saw who it was. That's right, he thought, it isn't all bad here at Hope's Peak Academy.

"Hey Hajime...nice to see you." Chiaki said. She had silver hair and dull pink eyes. Her demeanor rarely deviated much from sleepy contentment. Hajime could help but notice that she was voluptuous, big busted and a bit chubby in a way that only added to her cuteness.

"Hi Chiaki uh...it's nice to see you too." Hajime said. Smooth, he kicked himself mentally.

"Those guys over there are jerks. Please don't listen to people like that. Their opinions aren't important." Chiaki said. God, Hajime thought, did I really look that effected for her to say something like that.

"Don't worry, I barely hear people like that." The Reserve course student lied.

"...Good. Hajime I wanted to ask you how you felt about...Nagito." Chiaki said.

"Huh? Nagito? What about Nagito?" Hajime asked, confused. The past few weeks it seemed like everything eventually became about that guy and Hajime was getting sick of it.

"Well...it's just that...you seem to spend a lot of time with him...more then anybody else does anyway." Chiaki said in the slow way she usually talked. It seemed that a lot of the time she had trouble getting the words out.

"That's not saying a lot. Nobody spends too much time with Nagito." He said.

"Yeah, that's just it! Nagito seems friendly and polite...but once you try and get to know him...he pushes you away. But...he spends time with you, why is that?" The gamer asked.

"I don't know, you should probably ask him. He seems to be a good guy and all but...I just can't wrap my head around the guy." Hajime said.

"I don't think many people understand Nagito...he might not even understand himself." Chiaki said. There was about a minute of an awkward silence. Hajime decided that now was about as good a time as any to ask Chiaki on a date. Chiaki was so kind hearted the worst that could happen was that she would politely turn him down. His stomach started buzzing and he was filled with nervous energy.

"Hey Chiaki listien I..." Hajime started.

"Ah! Hajime, Chiaki! How wonderful it is to see the two of you." Said a voice that had become all too familiar to Hajime's ears.

"Hey Nagito." Hajime said, with a sigh.

"Hello Nagito." Chiaki said.

"How are you doing on this wonderful day? I hope I am not intruding on you two in any way." Nagito said in his usual polite, self deprecating manner.

"We are fine...and of course you are not intruding." Chiaki said.

"Yeah, I know you have low self-esteem but we are your friends. I mean we are classmates and-" Hajime started, for some reason he always found himself trying to build Nagito up. He felt a bit like Sisyphus .

"Please! Don't call me your friend! I am begging you. That is...far too much." Nagito said desperately. Hajime saw genuine fear grip Nagito. But why would Nagito be so afraid of being called their friend?

"Why?" Hajime asked. Nagito gave Chiaki a look.

"It's ok Nagito. If you don't want us to call you a friend we won't." Chiaki said, she sounded ill at ease to Hajime, but he couldn't be certain. Hajime looked into Nagito's eyes and nodded, then looked away as Nagito gave him a grin that was terrifying in it's sheer ecstatic relief.

"Good! Good! Saying something like that...I mean it could be dangerous. Hey Hajime I had a thought, you like movies right?" He asked

"Uh...yeah sure." Hajime said. He had in fact just been planning on asking Chiaki to see one with him.

"Excellent! Loveless comes out this Friday and I sorta wanted you to come along." Nagito said, he was invading Hajime's space like he always did.

"Is-isn't that a romance?" Hajime said.

"Yes it is. It tells the story of two women who love each other. Isn't that wonderful? Japan needs more positive depictions of realtionships like that." Nagito said. He was utterly sincere in a way that was almost painfully uncomfortable to Hajime and seemed to be the norm for Nagito's behavior.

"Urk...yeah sure but I am not really into stuff like that. Romance movies that is." Hajime said.

"Are you sure about that Hajime? I am pretty sure I saw you with "So Lingers the Ocean." that's a romance book...probably." Chiaki said, adorably unsure.

"Wha-Chiaki?" Hajime said, feeling a little betrayed and wondering how and when she saw him with that book.

"Why it most certainly is! Hajime you don't have to be embarrassed. That's an awesome book written by a very talented young writer, some say she might even be admitted next year as the Ultimate Writer. "

Nagito said. Hajime had to admit that Nagito's enthusiasm was infectious. It was always odd being with the two of them. Chiaki always made Hajime feel more laidback, relaxed. Nagito put him on edge, Hajime felt the need to be constantly thinking, trying to understand his words and motivations and actions, listening to his speculation and trying to grasp his philosophy. Being with both at once, in such an odd, anxious conversation like this gave the Reserve course student goosebumps. With the two of them here with him, Hajime felt like anything could happen.

"Yeah...well guys aren't supposed to like stuff like that." Hajime said, blushing and turning his head away.

"Supposed? What do you mean Hajime? I mean guys are supposed to have romantic realtionships right? So why would being interested in romance be weird? I know someone like me shouldn't be a role model but I quite like romance as a genre. In fact most of the fiction I read is either that or in the mystery genre. " He said.

.

"Well..I..." Hajime started, but he didn't know exactly how to complete that sentence.

"Guys are supposed to be interested in the yuri genre...I think." Chiaki said, uncertain of herself as always.

"Why Chiaki! That's absolutely correct! I didn't even think of that. Of course it was up to the skill of the Ultimate Gamer to grasp the effects of popular genres on males. If you are trying to resist your own sexuality, it is ok Hajime. Even male Ultimates find it arousing. Of course someone like me can't resist such a desire either so you are not alone. Unless...wait is our Hajime homophobic?" Nagito asked thoughtfully.

"No! Of course not! That's not what...fine. I will go to the movie with you." Hajime said in exasperation. It really wasn't worth trying to make the Ultimate Lucky student understand why attending a movie like that with another guy might be seen as strange. Though for some reason the phrase "Our Hajime" made him flush.

"Excellent! I will show up at your room about an hour before the movie. The thetre is only about thirty minute walk so we should have plenty of time. Oh! I just realized! I am so sorry Chiaki but I have been very rude. Would you care to join us?" Nagito asked. Hajime was surprised that Nagito was asking another Ultimate, considering how much Nagito felt that he didn't deserve to really even be in their presence. It was just another thing that Hajime didn't understand about the white haired boy. He was glad for it though, he didn't exacty want to be alone with Nagito. He liked Nagito...but the boy was strange and he would much rather be in a movie thetre with both of them then alone with Nagito.

The Ultimate Gamer considered this question silently for a long few moments. Much longer then Hajime thought was really necessary for such a decision.

"Um….no thank you. You two boys have fun. I….don't really like the romance genre…" She finally said with a rather conflcted look on her face.

"Huh. Oh well, maybe next time we can all go to a movie everyone can enjoy. I think the three of us should hang out more often. See you later." Nagito said and walked off.

"Uh….Hajime I….I really hope the two of you have a good time at the movie." Chiaki said with a blush. Then she walked away. She was cute, Hajime thought, but also really weird.

Later during homeroom Hajime saw Chiaki sleeping away with the cutest blush on her face. When he looked over to see what Nagito was doing he saw the other boy staring at the ceiling with an expression of pure joy on his face. When he noticed Hajime his grin slipped back into a friendly, polite smile and he waved. Looking at the rest of the Ultimates he had been assigned to assist, he wondered why he had been worried about what other students thought at all. His friends might be the weirdest people ever. but they were his friends and nothing could take that from him.

For once a feeling of Hope filled his heart. He didn't like to admit it to himself but maybe Nagito was right. Maybe there was a Hope that could conquer all Despair. If there was, it was right in this room, among friends.


	2. Chapter 2

The night before Hajime's movie...date with Nagito (He really, really tried hard not to think of it as a date but he could hear Nagito call it that in his head everytime he thought about it, it just seemed like something he would say) he couldn't sleep. Hajime had been having difficulty sleeping since he arrived at Hope's Peak, but this was his second or third night of complete insomnia. Between schoolwork and anxiety over having to spend time out of school with the strange white-haired boy, he couldn't stop his mind from churning. He was terrified of failure, this was his dream school and he had it lucky for a reserve course student, being given an opportunity to work so closely with Ultimate students. At the same time...irrationally and despite the fact that Komaeda had been nothing but kind to him, he kept worrying about Nagito turning on him. Using the same reasoning he used to put himself down to be mercilessly cruel to Hajime. After all if the Ultimate Lucky student was worthless for having a poor talent, wasn't Hajime, someone without talent at all even worse?

The day passed by with the speed of a glacier. Nagito, who always used to relish the chance to swing by the reserve course building as much as he could, didn't show up at all. In fact the only Ultimate's he saw all day were Fuuyuhiko and Mahiru, the former came to tell him about some info he got to help their little after school Task Force and the latter to complain about what an awful pervert Kazuichi was. He had no idea when he became the person Mahiru went to when she wanted to let off steam by bitching but he was glad at least that he could call her a friend.

Eventually, his boring, reserve course classes ended, and since their Task Force wasn't meeting today, Hajime had time alone in his dorm to think about things. Which wasn't good as inevitably as soon as he got time alone with his thoughts his anxiety would mount. He laid on his bed, gripping the sheets tightly and sweating for no logical reason. He got that he had no reason to feel stressed right now. Things were going fine. But he was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Just a bit before he figured Nagito was going to show, he changed out of his Hope's Peak uniform and into more casual clothing, which was in this case a white dress shirt with a green tie and greyish green slacks, which wasn't very casual at all really but Hajime and comfort were never close friends.

Finally there was a knock on the door and Hajime composed himself and went to answer it. He had been expecting Nagito to be wearing the same dark green hoodie and white graphic tee he usually wore when he wasn't in the Hope's Peak uniform. Instead he was dressed in a slightly heavier white hoodie and jeans. Hajime was pretty sure that he had seen the hoodie before in the Hope's Peak school store, it had the crest of Hope's Peak on the back of it. If Nagito was a girl Hajime would be inclined to say he was cute. As weird as it sounded in his head he supposed that wasn't to unusual, Nagito wasn't known for looking masculine, in fact he looked prettier than a lot of the girl's attending Hope's Peak.

"Hello Hajime! It's so good to see you! Wow, you really got dressed up for this didn't you Hajime? Don't tell me you thought this was a date or something?" Nagito said with that unflappable and completely strange enthusiasm he had. Hajime would go so far as to label it zeal.

"Wha-what? N-no I mean... don't be ridiculous." Hajime said turning his head as he blushed. Damn Komaeda, never stopped saying weird things.

"Yeah, that would be ridiculous. Someone with the Hope that you have locked away in your heart, would never willingly date human garbage like me. For all the Hope I have, they should have called me the Ultimate Hopeless Student." Nagito said. Whenever he was being self-deprecating Nagito had the oddest expression. His mouth seemed to curve almost involuntarily into a smile, and his eyes shined with a strange dark, fevered light. He looked shockingly similar to how he looked when he really started to get going on and on about Hope.

"You are not Hopeless Nagito. I mean hell, you're the most hopeful, optimistic person I know." Hajime said, playing Sisyphus, again.

"You misunderstand Hajime. I cling to Hope, but Hope doesn't cling back." Nagito said with a resigned tone. The two had started walking, slowly making their way out of Hope's Peak.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, what's the deal with you making fun of my clothes when you are wearing new clothes too." Hajime asked, not really wanting to continue talking about Nagito's abysmal sense of self-worth.

"Oh this? It's not anything too different Hajime. I just get really cold in movie theatres and wanted to get something a little heavier. Besides who wouldn't want to showcase the fact they attend Hope's Peak Academy, the greatest educational institution on Earth!" Nagito said. Hajime supposed that made sense. Why the Ultimate Lucky Student's jeans had to be so tight was another question that Hajime was unwilling to ask.

After that conversation died down for the most part. The silence was strangely comfortable, which was odd considering the fact that Nagito had a real talent in making even the most mundane situations awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. Nagito talked a bit about what the 77th had been doing in class and what he had done in his free time. Hajime added in commentary and sarcasm, the latter of which Nagito had always had a complicated relationship with sometimes getting it and sometimes taking things quite seriously.

"We're here Hajime." The white haired boy said.

"Huh?"

Their they were, though Hajime swore they hadn't been walking five minutes. Then again when he was with Nagito, the reserve course student noticed that time seemed to flow a lot more quickly.

"Yeah. I guess your right." Hajime said.

"Well come on, let's go inside or we will be late." Nagito said.

The Ultimate Lucky student insisted on buying both tickets and concessions, including a large bucket of popcorn "to share" that Nagito barely touched when they did enter. Hajime felt kind of awkward about Nagito paying but the other boy said that he had "More then enough money." and "It's a privilege for someone like me to buy things for Hajime-kun." Hajime didn't mind if it made Nagito feel better, and it wasn't like Hajime had a lot of disposable income.

Throughout the entire movie Hajime was acutely aware of the other boy's presence. Nagito of course had to sit right next to him and this whole thing felt really intimate. It didn't help that Nagito was as odd as always, his eyes shining with emotion throughout the entire thing, muttering things under his breath and breathing heavy and generally acting really...sketchy. Like potentially a huge, dangerous pervert kinda sketchy.

Hajime didn't mind the movie really. He certainly didn't like it. Not at all. I mean it was weird right? Guys weren't supposed to go out with other guys to watch Romantic dramas about two girls falling in love. Especially with so little nudity. This was just part of Nagito's complete failure to understand social norms and since Nagito was Hajime's friend so he just had to go along with it. He didn't want to cry at the tragic end, not at all.

"Gah. That ending was filled with so much Despair wasn't it?" Nagito said as they walked out of the theatre. He said Despair in the way he always did. As if it was the most disgusting thing on the world and needed to be spat out quickly. He said his own name that way to.

"Yeah, it was kinda a downer I guess." Hajime said while he was busy finding the pavement and his shoes very interesting.

"But even in spite of the sorrowful ending there's so much glorious Hope for the future isn't there?" Nagito said. He always said Hope like it was something beautiful. Like it was a prayer or a song, instead of a simple emotion. Indeed, Hajime wondered why Nagito seemed to be so in love with a concept as plain as Hope.

"What do you mean?" Hajime asked.

"Oh, well just how much things have changed. I mean there were a lot more people there then you would expect for a film of it's subject matter. The protests from the general public are not as strong as they would have been ten years ago for example. Maybe Japan can become a real bastion for LGBT rights." Nagito said.

"That is an interesting assertion. Yeah, I suppose things have changed but...I mean this is Japan, can we really overcome tradition so soon?" Hajime said. Truth be told he wasn't exactly homophobic….but all this stuff was weird right? Hajime was just a normal guy like anyone else. Exactly like anyone else.

Suddenly Hajime wanted to go to bed early.

"I have absolute faith that it can. No perhaps not faith….Hope. We have no reason to morally oppose such relationships, not even in our traditions. Besides I am sure someday an Ultimate LGBT activist will emerge and will use their Hope to break archaic ways of thinking and help lead us into a new golden age of tolerance and understanding." Nagito said, and he started sounding like someone speaking about their religious beliefs.

"So...the Ultimates really are important to you huh?" Hajime asked, trying to understand. He was not sure he ever would.

"Yes, of course. They are important to you two though. You share the special feelings I have for Hope's Peak Academy." Nagito said with a sideways glance.

"Well...yeah I do admire the Ultimates and Hope's Peak but...you seem to take that further." Hajime said.

"We are not as different as you might think Hajime. Besides I- oh hey that's Ryu, the Ultimate

Skateboarder oh and Satoshi Tanaka, the Ultimate Graffiti Artist! even the Ultimate Metallurgist is here! How fortunate!" Nagito said manically and yet worshipfully.

"Hey...I don't think-" Hajime started. He was going to warn the other boy that those three weren't exactly nice guys. They had already beaten up Teruteru and Kazuichi.

"Hello, Ryu-kun, Satoshi-kun, Metal-kun! How are my fellow 77th class students doing this fine day." Nagito shouted over to the trio embarrassingly. Nagito was one of those unfortunate kids that almost asked to be beat up by their complete lack of social survival skills.

"Who the hell is that?" Ryu asked Satoshi.

"Just that faggot Komaeda. He is a real fucking lunatic." Satoshi said.

"Komaeda huh? Hey come over here Komaeda, bring your boyfriend too." Ryu said.

"Nagito don't-" Hajime warned, but Nagito wasn't listening. He strolled right up to the trio and Hajime felt compelled to follow.

"I am sorry, I know I shouldn't question what Ultimates do or say but...I really would prefer it if you didn't use those homophobic slurs against me." Nagito said. Hajime looked at Nagito's smiling face with complete shock. Nagito never stuck up for himself. In fact, he had gotten into arguments with people who tried to praise him.

"What the fuck did you just say to me faggot?" Ryu said, clenching his fist and grabbing the boys hoodie. Hajime wanted to intervene but he was suddenly paralyzed.

"There you go again. I just don't get it. I only manage to get into this academy with a talent as worthless as Luck and you Ultimates have been so kind to me." Nagito said with a dreamy sigh.

"Wh-what?" Ryu asked, completely confused.

"Calling me by those slurs associates me with the LGBT community in general and homosexual men specifically. That is just not right. To associate such communities with someone as pathetic and worthless as me. I don't belong to any community, I am scum on the bottom of the shoe of even the lowest of the low. So to associate me with a group of people that has produced great talents and furthered the Hopes of mankind. It is very touching but ultimately it is too kind for me. I don't deserve such praise, as good as it is to hear from an Ultimate." Nagito said, still smiling but that dark, almost deranged self-deprecating smile.

Hajime couldn't understand it. Why Nagito hated himself so much. To Hajime, Nagito was a nice, if peculiar boy who was smart, compassionate and very pretty (even if Hajime didn't like to think too much about that last part). For some reason, Nagito didn't see any of that in himself.

"Your right Satoshi. Guy's a fucking psycho." The Ultimate Metaligurst said.

Hajime didn't know what got into him. He didn't know why that final statement was the straw that broke the camels back. He didn't even know why he would go to any lengths to protect Nagito's honor when he seemed so intent on throwing it away. But suddenly Hajime sprang into action and punched the Metalworker right in the face.

What followed was a blur in Hajime's mind. He remembered pain, shouting, Nagito screaming, "Hurt me instead! Please, hurt me instead!" the coppery taste of blood as it rolled down from his nose into his mouth. The thing he remembered most was waking up to see his classmate...his friend Nagito Komaeda laying beside him. Also beaten, eyes shut. For one ludicrous, heartbreaking moment he thought that Nagito was dead and would never share interesting theories, annoy him with speeches of Hope, or let Hajime play Sisyphus ever again. He was so pale, and Hajime couldn't tell if he was breathing. Then he heard the boy say something.

"...lucky." Nagito murmured. Nagito had whispered more but that was the only word Hajime could hear. The reserve course student thought that was funny, he was starting to suspect the Ultimate Lucky student wasn't lucky at all.

"Hajime? Hajime-kun are you alright." Nagito asked as soon as he opened his eyes.

"Yeah, I think so. And I told you already that you can just call me Hajime. Are you ok?" Hajime said.

"Of course." He said. Hajime was half expecting Nagito to go on a self-loathing rant but he didn't.

They walked back to school in complete silence. Both of their minds fully occupied in processing the day's events, fitting them into their worldview.

"Hajime, this is your dorm." Nagito said.

"Huh? Oh yeah I guess it is." Hajime said. He hadn't even noticed that they were back at Hope's Peak.

"You know, this is the part of a date where we would share a kiss Hajime." Nagito said with an odd little smile.

"Hey! What are you talking about?" Hajime spluttered, embarrassed and newly blushing.

"Nothing. Just a little joke. This wasn't a date. I am just glad I could spend some time with you Hajime." Nagito said and walked off, a little sadly.

"Hey wait, Nagito." Hajime said.

"Yes." Nagito said turning back. He looked more tired now then Hajime had ever seen him. Even after lengthy Task Force meetings, he seemed to have a manic energy about him. Now he looked like all he wanted to do was go to bed.

"I am sorry about all that. You got beaten up because of me. There's even blood on your new hoodie." Hajime apologized.

"It's ok. You were just being kind. You never have to apologize for that to me. Besides this was a cheap hoodie, you got blood all over your tie and white dress shirt." Nagito said, smiling faintly near the end.

Hajime didn't know what else to say so he just nodded. Then he retired back to his dorm. Later on that night he would be wide awake and filled with anxiety so intense he wanted to scream. But for three blissful hours, Hajime slept and thought of nothing.


End file.
